Managing Moods

The skill of enjoying life

As we cycle through our many daily moods, it is important to remember that each mood involves a choice. We have the choice to assume responsibility for our moods or assign blame. The difference between the two options is the difference between having a say in our emotional life or being at the mercy of the elements. When we blame our moods on the world, all we can ever do is react. When it gets too hot, we get too miserable. Whenever we get hungry or tired, more misery. If somebody around us is miserable, we catch their misery. When we take responsibility for our moods, we respond instead of reacting. When it gets too hot, we feel the heat, it may be uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to make us miserable.

Taking responsibility for our moods gives us a degree of control over our lives. It is our moods as much as anything that determine our quality of life. It is totally normal for people to have all creature comforts available to them, yet still spend their lives stuck in mostly uncomfortable moods. There are thousands of compelling reasons for each lousy mood, but the main problem is thinking that moods just happen instead of being a product of our personal creativity. When we recognize our total complicity in our moods, we can engage our creative powers and design more enjoyable lives for ourselves.

Unfortunately, the best time to work on our moods is when we are in our worst moods. Fortunately, engaging with bad moods with creativity will make them better. Anger is one of the bad moods that is hardest to work through creatively, because anger tends to shut off creativity. It is generally all blame. Whether we blame ourselves, another person, or the weather, anger doesn’t allow much space for response. Most everything said or done in anger will make things worse, so the best thing to do with anger is to recognize it, name it, see what we are blaming it on, and try to let it pass before we hurt somebody.

Managing the rest of our moods involves feeling what they feel like in the moment, looking at the stories that go with them, and then using our creative abilities to imagine new perspectives, change the stories, and alter the moods. Engaging our bodies in the response is also helpful. Taking conscious breaths, going for a walk, or drinking a glass of water, can also change the perspective and positively influence a mood.

The simple act of recognizing a mood, feeling it, and engaging with it in a new way is taking responsibility. It is the foundation of a new habit that can make all moods more manageable. That habit, when practiced with all the little moments of misery and amusement through the day, will also help with anger. It doesn’t quell anger in the heat of the moment, but it builds tolerance and familiarity to the various feelings that formerly might have triggered our rage.

Life is full of intrigue that will continue to grab us and make us sad, scared, happy, lonely, and angry and so on, but when we practice feeling each one, responding to it with creativity and letting it go, we will manage everything much better. When we get more proficient at managing our own moods, we will have the resources we need to better deal with all the hot heads around us.